The state of this country leaves something to be desired.  I have a hard time writing about political issues because, until very recently, the immediacy of politics did not exist for me.  I lived in a bubble ruled by academics and my social life, my well-being was completely determined by my parents, who I knew would look out for me.  It isn't until very recently that I have begun to learn that my independence over the four years of college was really only "independence," a manufactured sense of autonomy and control.  It was autonomy and control without any real responsibility, which, as anyone who has eventually assumed responsibility knows, is not true autonomy and control.  It is the kind of autonomy and control that a puppet might have within the context of a puppet show.  The puppet's character gets to take action within the context of its play, however, there is a puppet master who is pulling the strings, making sure that the scenery is correct, and ready to do any necessary damage control before the puppets are ever affected.  

Moving out on my own and taking more steps in the direction of handling my own affairs brought certain realities into stark relief.  Politics, for instance.  Suddenly I found myself very involved, and concerned about, the political state of affairs in the U.S.  For me, the hook was healthcare, because I am currently dependent on my parents' coverage as my job does not provide insurance.  As a young person, one might imagine that allowing coverage to lapse, being sans insurance for a little while, wouldn't be much of a big deal.  However, due to a kidney condition that I have had since birth, allowing my coverage to lapse would bring with it the risk of never being able to get covered again - because the truth is, insurance companies don't actually want broken people.  They don't want people who might actually need to cash in on their coverage.  For all intents and purposes, I am a broken person.

Anyway, health insurance and the Republicans' almost rabid intent to dismantle Obama's healthcare bill put my feet firmly on the surface of the planet.  It's become crystal clear to me that remaining uninvolved is akin to lying down in the middle of a highway during rush hour and hoping that, by some miracle, every car will swerve to avoid my prone body.  It's a positively absurd expectation.  But, oddly, it seems to be the very expectation that a huge percentage of this country.  The apathy is frightening, and I'm beginning to think that the apathy is less actual apathy and more a lack of realization that cause and effect exists in politics as much as it does in gravity.  Drop a rock off a building, and it will hit the ground.  Every time.  Ignore an election, or vote ignorantly, and the state of the country will suffer.  Every time.  We don't understand.  And, at this point, we're afraid to understand because things have developed into some horrifying mimicry of the twilight zone, and to look too closely into what's going on, is to stare into the face of a nightmare.

When it comes to fear, we are children.  Nobody outgrows the need for reassurance.  Nobody outgrows the desperate wish for comfort, for someone to tell them that everything will be okay and here's why.  Becoming an adult means that most of the time, you learn to exist without that external comfort and that you learn to give it to the younger generations, but no longer needing it?  Pure myth.  You grow up, but you still get scared.  You just get to be exposed to the nasty truth that the world doesn't get less scary, you just have to deal with it on your own.  We are a broken and frightened country right now, and what we have going on is the result of no one being, well, results oriented.  We keep being told what's busted, but no one is doing much to walk us through what's happening and what needs to happen.  It's terribly unhelpful.  And more unhelpful still is the existence of political parties that operate in a vacuum in which reality is suspended.  John Stewart and Stephen Colbert had a rally to restore sanity.  Could we please also have one to restore reality?